At some point you just can't help but feel that everyone's going to leave you behind and all you can do is just watch them go and smile because you know that they're going to do way better there than here. It's hard because it's all I get, all I read is people going for days and I'm just pretty much stuck here right in front of my laptop staring ( Read more... )

it's funny. Being left alone the whole day with hardly any conversation going on. I got my nap and somewhat got myself thinking about what I said to Paula just a while ago and when I was reading back on logs before I got into this relationship with her. Before you don't demand anything well you can't. So things are always okay, things are always ( Read more... )

 I'm back to feeling like not wanting to be home and not wanting to be out. Not wanting to be in the company of anyone...The want to disappear and all that is strong again. Everything's so cold and I can't even meet the eyes of my mom. I guess I'm ashamed of who I am. That I'm such a let down.

I just want to go poof... :(

 So I responsibly went to school today and got my adjustment form....

Then before leaving I decided to wear my pretty new red sneakers but then my mom was like, "No don't wear it, it's raining!" and it wasn't! The wind was just really strong and all so I decided to still wear it and she got mad and I didn't want to argue so I just kept quiet and ( Read more... )

Didn't bring me up well? Perhaps you didn't. Didn't do well in school? Yeah I know I didn't. Thanks for reminding me.

You think it doesn't bother me? You think I drank because I'm celebrating? Of course not. I drank because I'm fucking depressed over not doing well in school. That I failed you. That I disappointed you. Even if I tried my best. I ( Read more... )